8/18/2016

Health and IVF and life dispatch from March 2015 through today, in bullet point format

March 2015, we did IVF round three.

We knew we would be moving from sunny CA, therefore moving away from our fertility team.
We had three frosty embryos... the IVF cycle at the clinic lined up exactly with our time in CA.
It felt right. It seemed perfect. Again.
We were "cautiously" optimistic.
Truly deep down we were sincerely optomistic.

May 2015, we lost this sweet one too.
It was so hard.
So hard.

Days later we graduated optometry school.
We had to rally. Fast.
We rallied.
We celebrated and celebrated.
We discussed how this seemed symbolic of our entire time in optometry school.
So sweet and filled with accomplishment and miracles and joy.
So bitter and filled with trial and fear and pain.

June 2015, we packed up.
We moved.
We found ourselves in Kerrville, Texas and settled in for a long, happy life.

The grief came.
Depression and debilitating anxiety quickly joined grief and me.
It was dark.
I was so sad. So sad.
I was lost in isolation. Spiraling into a dark deep.

Help came with January/February 2016.
I found a good doctor.
I embarked on a climb out from the dark. I climbed on slow, unsteady, shaky legs.
This difficult climb continued for months and months.
I stabilized.
I became stronger. More capable. Began to find a "new normal".
Sweet relief to see a progress. Grateful for help along my way.

No solid baby plans for our near future.
No need to ask.
Someday. Someday. Maybe.

We're packing.
We're moving, looking forward to good change in Vancouver, Washington.

We're flexible.
We're hopeful.

We know better than to plan much of anything.