1/08/2011

this is the "before"

Ok. So for the first time in my life I want to talk about weight with..... all of you. BUT on here and only on here. If we have ourselves a chat in real life I don't want to hear a word about weight or exercise or pant sizes unless it's you telling me how completely and totally fantastic I look. (and I'll take as much of that as I can get! but only if you mean it :)

I have decided that this is the year that I want to start liking myself again. I'm not saying I haven't been feeling the love, but I am saying that it's been a while since I have felt good about myself because of the weight that has been adding together throughout the last few years (and they have been the most stressful and emotional years of my life so I firmly believe that I deserve every single piece of dark chocolate I had. but maybe not everything else).

The funny thing about weight (or being overweight) is you think about it when you're awake, you think about it when you're going to sleep, you think about it every time you wake up in the night and first thing when you get up in the morning. People might say things to "help" you, trying to "wake you up" or something, but that is really not helpful because you are already fully aware and you are the only person in this world who can help you. And that's what I have made up my mind to do. This year I am going to help myself out a little bit. I refuse to live another year not loving myself and the way I look. I refuse to be limited by the way I feel about myself. I refuse to wait any longer to be totally happy with my body.

I'm not saying that I'm morbidly obese, but I know that I am a little overweight and I don't want to be. I don't feel as healthy or as in shape as I used to, and I definitely don't feel as comfortable in my own skin. It's not like I haven't tried in the past—I have. I have dropped 10 lbs here, gained 15 there. But this time it will be different, there will be real results because I'm going to change my life this year. I watched a close friend do it last year and now she's almost to her goal and she's happier than I have ever seen her! She's more herself and more confident and it was all because she made the decision to change.

So here's the plan:

I am always behind the camera, almost never in front of it, so when I do see a recent photo of myself I am taken back by the person I see there. Photos don't lie and it seems like the only place I can really see me—alllllllll of me. So there will be photos taken after every 10 lbs and photos to start out (and not the creepy bikini kind).

I am drinking 2 meal replacement shakes a day (in place of meals, not in addition to) for 3o days to jump start myself.

I am eating one healthy snack between breakfast and lunch and another between lunch and dinner.

The kitchen closes at 7:30 pm each night (that means no more munching after that time).

I am drinking lots of water and staying hydrated.

I am exercising 5 times a week with Wii Active 2, running and Just Dance 2 (because dancing is fun and it might make me excited to work out on those days that I'm dreaaaaaaading it).

I'm going to go to bed earlier and and wake up earlier.

I won't be disclosing how much I weigh (unless something comes over me and I decide I really want to). And if you ask, I probably won't tell you :)

...............................................................................................................................

Now you are wondering why I am spilling my guts to you?

Number one, because motivation is key. I know that all of you are going to be watching me through cyberspace (ha! haven't heard that term since You've Got Mail) and I don't want to fall on my face. You are going to help me keep going.

Number two, because I want you to join me! But only if you want to. We all know how beneficial it is to have a partner in weight-loss. You don't have to follow my plan, you don't have to do exactly what I'm doing—but if you want to shed some pounds that you found from life in general, having babies or whatever and you want a buddy, I want a buddy too! We can be buddies with each other! Email me and we'll get ourselves a little network going.

(geriegbert at gmail dot com)

I'm going to continue talking about this (don't worry, it won't be taking over). I'll be sharing my favorite snacks, exercise highs (and lows, possibly more lows I'm sure) and other things I choose to share.

Oh I am sooooooooo nervous to share this post. You can't even imagine how nervous I am to push publish. I'm letting it all hang out. And for someone who wants to let it all hang in (or something like that) this is hard for me. So hard but so exciting!

Please be kind to me :)

27 comments:

Becca's Blog said...

Goooooooooooooo Geri! Do it and do it for yourself. I know you can!

P.S. I wish my "before pictures" were as darling as yours...you are so beautiful already.

Steve and Stephanie Anderson said...

GERI I'm so excited for you! I love it! I just started walking/jogging but I haven't been active since July so I suck. Like bad. We should walk/jog together!!! I'm also thinking about taking yoga/pilates classes from the brea rec center--it's like $14 a month I think, and I've heard those classes do wonders by toning everywhere, and especially strengthening your core=muscles=increased metabolism. woohoo!

the h fam. said...

goooo ger bear!! you can do it guuuurrl! i'll keep you motivated! i've been trying to lose a few l.b.'s myself! but i'm not as brave to post before pics! i look forward to hear what's working for you and not!

Elissa said...

First of all, you look absolutely gorgeous in these photos. Really.

That said, I admire your stance on accepting yourself as you are and deciding to work on liking yourself again. I think most women struggle with low self-esteem, and we'd all benefit from reminding ourselves what unique, valuable, amazing creatures we all are.

I wish you luck in your endeavor to adopt a healthier lifestyle. You can do this!

dresswithcourage.com

McKenzie said...

Geri! I am so impressed with how brave you are to share this! It is smart to share this because it IS a motivator! You look fabulous already, but I know exactly how you feel. I have been on this same rollercoaster for years! I am going to be one of your biggest cheerleaders! Go Geri!

Kara Lynn said...

Geri you are adorable! Seriously. I think you are one of the cutest girls ever. But if you are unhappy with your body I am happy you are doing something about it! I am happy you aren't one of those people that sits and complains and never fixes it. I hope you get the results you want and feel the love again!! Good luck! You are beautiful!!

the hawker's said...

GERI!!!!!
you are adorable! and way to make a new year's goal and decide to stick with it for the whole year! and very brave to post about it too, might I add. (that used to be my biggest prob, the not actually doing what I said I would on january 1st, but I am trying to follow through this year.) this is one of my goals too, to get healthy and in shape and to feel good about my body again. last semester was a killer, and it became noticeable to everyone around me (great...) it's sad but true. so i'm with you! (minus the before and after shots. i'm not that brave.) good luck ger! it sounds like you've got a good plan to me!

Becca said...

hey girl.
I think you look great. but I also respect your determination and goals...so GO YOU!

it's awesome that you want to make changes. this is tough but POSSIBLE!

Good luck, beautiful!

Sydney said...

Oh Ger! I'm so excited for you!! And I'm telling Tys to read this post right. now. He can totally relate and is actually trying to drop a couple pounds right now himself! I'll tell him that you two are officially buddies. haha! Good luck gorgeous girl! I can't wait to read about your journey!

Lucy said...

You are one brave jose'! I'd have to say "true grit".
Good for you and all of us wanna be's too! Sounds good to join you.

Caley said...

Yay! Go Geri! I can't wait to hear/read about your journey!

communikate. said...

Oh sister.. I feel like you post came right of my soul {over dramatic. yep, you betcha.. true story though!}

it's so true. i think about it ALL the time. i think about what people are thinking about me and how i hate it so much..

go geri go!

kate lines said...

go geri! this post is crazy inspiring! you are beautiful...

Melody said...

Thanks, Geri! One of my constant battles since getting out of high school. I think about it all the time, too. But you are right that it definitely hits you the most when you see a picture of yourself. Thanks for sharing. I want to be your buddy!!:) melody dot daniels at hotmail dot com

Emily Dawn said...

You're adorable, good luck (even though you already look amazing), I know you will do awesome!


I'm excited for the up dates :]

genevieve, sandbox romance said...

You look awesome now, but I totally understand the desire to reach a healthier weight. It's so brave of you to share this with everyone, and it's a great way to stay motivated!

Best of luck! Stay strong!

Theresa said...

Geri, you are so lovely! Thanks for being so candid about this. I dont know if "tips" are what you are looking for but do get a buddy in this. My mom was my buddy when I was a senior in high school and I couldnt have done it without her!
Also, thanks for being so supportive of our blog! Your comments make me smile :)

Kylee said...

I would love to join in on the fun! We got wii active 2 for Christmas so we should try it together sometime or go for a jaunt through the park...let me know!

carina said...

Such a sweet post. I wish you all the best - I know how hard it is! I'll be your buddy from afar!

ashley mikell said...

this was so good for me to hear! i have lately been turning down invitations to go and work out because i'm nervous and not sure if i want to...so i am going to try. i just might go jogging or do some aerobics at my house... thanks for the motivation.

you are awesome! and i'm so very glad you decided to share!

Aubrey said...

Good for you Geri. I have some similar goals but am not brave enough to share, especially on a blog! You're a brave woman. I am planning on getting a pass to the Brea community center as soon as I can get up there and do it. I've done a couple classes before and they're awesome. I saw Stephanie's comment that she wants to do some too, so lets do it! You're right that we all need a partner. So lets partner up my friend. I'm here and waiting.

Consider The Lilies said...

I stumbled across your blog through the Daybook :) you are so beautiful and I wish you the best on this little journey! I know how it feels to be down on yourself, but I'm always my worst critic, so just know that others see you as totally beautiful even if you don't always feel it!

Jill said...

I don't know you real well but did have the fortunate opportunity to meet you and watch you share a wondeful talent while shooting my grand-daughter...the prettiest baby in the world I might say! I admire you for seeing a need and then making a plan to move forward for YOU! I just hope you remember how beautiful you are now and when the magic is over. Too many good friends have fallen into the pit of never being satisfied and then take things to the extreme. Be healthy. Stay happy. Be beautiful.

Hannah said...

This is so awesome! And a great idea. The best possible motivation in my mind. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

You can do it! Sounds like a fun plan as well. Making exercise fun is the key!!!

carla thorup said...

good luck over the next year! {and i think this lady named cathy is really inspiring and funny about her journey to move more & east less. http://cathyzielske.typepad.com/}

Torrie said...

Thank you so much for your honest, inspiring post--it reminded me that I'm not alone in my struggles to lose those pounds I've been trying to get off for months. I had been slender all my life, but then I served a mission in Central America and somehow put on 25 pounds despite walking upwards of 15 miles every day in the sweltering heat. I've tried so hard to get it all back off, but I'm still about fifteen pounds shy of where I used to be. And you're totally right about the photo thing--most mornings when I get ready I'll be feeling pretty good, but the camera doesn't lie, and I'll feel bad all over again. It's an uphill battle, but I'm finally getting to the point where I'm happy with myself just trying to be healthy...no matter what weight that means for now.

Best of luck to you in your journey! I'll be plugging along right beside you trying to finish mine...