some kind of big things have been happening lately.
to put it short and sweet:
jason is in the hospital.
has been for about 2 weeks
and we're not real sure when he's coming home.
(which totally sucks because i miss my man but i'm
ok with him staying longer if that means he'll get back to normal.)
it's ok. jason's fine.
but he could be doing a lot better.
many of you may not know that jason has cystic fibrosis.
he has never let it phase him really. people usually don't know he
has a progressive lung disease just by looking at him.
(because he's pretty much awesome!)
and he has never let it limit what he can do.
for example: on our first date we went jumping off of a waterfall
(which was hugely terrifying for me by the way) and the fun-filled
activities didn't stop there. he's always up for adventure.
but he gets sick.
and when he gets sick it usually turns into pneumonia which
inevitably decreases his lung function. (which is not good.)
it's been a while since he has last been in the hospital.
(over two years actually. which is great for him.)
before he was averaging once or twice a year.
this winter he got hit again and again and again and again with bugs.
and i guess his lung function wasn't able to catch up.
and then he got this really bad bug that is too smart for your average
antibiotics so the docs at the university hospital have been combining
meds and such to try to kick it. but it's not an easy thing.
so he gets to have a change of address for a little minute.
(it doesn't feel like a little minute. it feels like a very long minute.)
and that makes me sad.
i'm mostly sad because i don't get to go see him very much.
i went down this weekend (and i'm pretty sure i left my pink toothbrush)
which was so good, but leaving him there and coming home alone was hard.
but life's hard.
and that's just how it is.
plus, i had to get back.
like i said before, this semester is the craziest yet and almost all
of my classes are studios which means i need to be here (or in
the studio) to do the projects. and there is a huge one in identity design
that is due in the middle of all of this. (don't mind me. feeling a bit stressed.)
and for some reason i can't make myself care about any of that.
(don't get me wrong, i have had a lack of motivation for this semester
right out of the gate. but now i really have to try hard in order to care at all.)
i think things get put into perspective when there are challenges to face.
sometimes we forget how real CF really is. then we are quickly reminded.
and it turns out there are a lot of things that are bigger than school and projects.
it seems like we are all made to rise to the occasion when we remember
to have faith and carry on. i keep thinking that there has to be some lesson
we need to learn from this. maybe after we learn it things could hurry up and
get back to normal? then i realize that going to the hospital, praying for
better results and praying that his body will heal and recover isn't an isolated
occurrence like kidney stones or a broken bone.
this is our normal.
and it's ok.
maybe that's the lesson i'm supposed to learn this time.
anyway, i think that's all for today.
p.s. sorry for being heavy on the personal content.