Montezuma's Revenge...& my armpits hurt.

we will be discussing an explicit topic on the blog today. consider yourself warned, I will not be liable for any damage done.
I have always said that I wouldn't mind a Tapeworm--just for a little while. (I heard that the side affects include rapid weight loss & was immediately sold to the idea.) I think I take back all those times I decided I'd like to go to Ecuador or the Philippians (or wherever it is you can get those type of things) and drink all the tap water I could find. take them back, fully. consider such statements revoked.
I looked up Montezuma's Revenge online (for further clarification on what it really is--after learning that's what might be wrong with me I decided to get informed.) it's an illness suffered by travelers/tourists traveling to foreign parts of the world. there are different names for the different places you go, but the two others for Mexico are the Aztec Two-Step or the Gringo Gallop. (if you were lucky enough to catch such things in Asia you could be diagnosed with Gandhi's Revenge, Delhi Belly, or the Tokyo Trots. hey Audrey, have Kitty & Nobby had any issues in Tokyo?)

This sickness is usually caused by drinking unsterilised water, or eating spicy food visitors aren't accustomed to, or eating fresh fruits. (didn't' have any tap water--it was a little too smelly for me) It is a bacteriological something-or-other and is always uncomfortable and in most cases caused by the "enterotoxigenic E.coli bacterium". (whatever that means....Ecoli was the only term I understood there. all I know is that it has truly been the pits.... speaking pits, today I decided to wear a DownEast under tee and it's been rubbing my armpits RAW. I remembered my Aunt Millie had the same problem and I later learned that she cut that part out of her shirt. how'd that work for ya Aunt Mil? exactly where am I supposed to cut?)

so here are my thoughts and observations about such weight loss techniques as Montezuma's Revenge:
1. overrated.
2. just makes you irritated
3. maybe a little bit smelly
4. very acquainted with restroom services in the area

as for the rapid weight loss. lies. all LIES. can you believe it? all this and no such benefits.
Montezuma sucks.


the h fam. said...

hahaa!! i'm sorry to hear about your revenge! and i agree with aunt millie, i cut the armpits of one of my down east shirts cuz it was hurting my pits! not every shirt does, i just had one that drove me nuts! i cut it right at the seam that's under there! good luck!

Lucy said...

Sorry about your troubles!
I'm glad though, if that's the worst of them. (Polyanna syndrome)

Unknown said...

what'dya mean Polyanna syndrome???
(are you being mean to me?)
-and the doc called me in a Z-Pack. hopefully things will be looking up soon.

(cutting down the seam it is! i'll give it a whirl TONIGHT)

Bobbi said...

I am interested if a Zpak will cure that one?
Sorry that you aren't feeling too great. :(
Did you ever figure out the girl's name in your class?

Unknown said...

Ya it's not the one... her last name is Nordstrom.

Becca's Blog said...

CIPRO works the best for Montezuma's revenge. At least that is what I've heard. I, unfortunately or fortunately (however you look at it) can't seem to get Montezuma's revenge even though I've been trying for years...eating lettuce, drinking water, and eating strawberries in third-world countries. But really what I want is a tapeworm...those will really do the trick, but if I can't even get a good case of traveler's diarreaha I doubt I'll be lucky enough to get a tapeworm. We can always hope!

Anyway, if your Z-pack doesn't work and you need some Cipro just let me know...I always travel with it but have tons of it because I have never had to use it.

Good luck with all your personal body problems!

Cassie said...

Yikes - on all accounts.

Becky said...

ouch!! Sorry!

Audrey said...

Wow Geri, I totally thought you were faking it this whole time! Sorry bout the Tokyo Trots! That doesn't sound like fun at all! Hope it doesn't make you never want to go back to Mexico cuz it sure looks MAGNIFICANT there!
Let me know if I can do anything for ya... like pick ya up some more toilet paper or bring ya some balmex!
I really am sorry Geri, NEVER fun being sick, esp. THAT kind of sick!

Lucy said...

No, I wasn't being mean. I just meant, "Let's look on the bright side". You know, like Polyanna!

the h fam. said...

hey i need your address ms never call me back!

Unknown said...

who me???
did you call? oh no. I feel bad.

hey, I don't have your number lady. I just checked.